LGBT Encouragement

Do you have a favorite word? I do! It's "encourage." It reminds me that I have the power to "Give Courage" to the people in my life. As do the people in mine!

But my daily life is full to overflowing with dis-couragers. Robbers of courage. Robbers of strength. Robbers of joy.

Which are you? Encourager or Discourager?

I fret over and fear the Christian discouragers more than any others these days. The obvious lesson that "A Christians who hates isn't a Christian at all" doesn't seem to be believed across the board!

I think the ultimate slap-on-the-face for Christians who dabble in hate is Titus 1:16-17 -- "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good." 'Cause if you're one of them, you oughta prove it in the way you live! Unlike a clerk typist who can't type, or a violin player who doesn't play violin, or an Olympic skater who can't skate. Love is what a Christian is and does best!

If there's one thing Christians oughta be amazing at, it's loving. Everyone!

I'm happy that a lot of my gay friends understand the Christian requirement (not least of all because so many of my gay friends are themselves Christians!) and don't panic about Christian hate. They know who's living right and who isn't. But some of my LGBT friends really do feel the pain of Christians -- and more darkly "the church" -- being purposefully against them. They know there's hate, anger, disgust -- because it's directed right at them!

Love your enemy...
Love your neighbor...
Love one another...
Love sincerely...
Love.

The central gospel, the heart of the bible? I'm surprised at those who overlook or ignore the broad, whole-bible themes yet take up hateful causes based on bits-and-piecesof the bible. Weird, huh?

I honestly don't care how deeply ignorant I am of theological nuances and micromatters as long as I get the first things right that Jesus says I ought to get right: love God, and love YOU! :-)  (Just wish some people weren't quite so hard to love...lol.)

Anyhoo, thanks for giving me the courage to press on in my quest to be the ultimate lover of people...everyone...everywhere...including you. Be an encourager -- that's a worthy use of a life!

Love Steve xo

LGBT Inconvenience

I got married when I wanted, where I wanted, to the person I love. I never thought it would be a problem, and it wasn't! Because I'm a man, and I married a woman.

I recently met a fantastic couple who couldn't. Because they're both men. They didn't have what I had -- a room full of family and friends, local church, big party. Because they had to travel far from home to get married. Because they're both men.

I feel really selfish writing about this because -- truth be told -- I seldom really stop to think about what I have so easily compared with what others struggle so hard to get -- or, worse, never get. (Seems I need to exercise my heart and mind justice muscles a lot more!)

As I asked my new friends for the details of their meeting, falling in love, proposal, wedding, and life together, I could sense twinges of sadness in their happy story. None of it had come easily. And it wasn't just laws or lack of laws getting in the way; families still struggle sometimes to accept their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. It's the greatest of human tragedies when family love fails.

I wanted to grab them both in a tight bear hug and whisper, "I'm so sorry..." because their love is real, their dedication to each other is real, their hopes and dreams are just like mine -- home, family, children, love, longevity, security, hope, and a safe area to live where their love wouldn't become an inconvenience or problem to others. (I've certainly never had to wonder if my wife and son and our life together would be a bother to anyone.) With sad regret on their behalf, my life dreams have come to reality much more easily than theirs.

Do we really want to continue so purposefully and needlessly creating sadness and hurt? Face-to-face with these two great guys, I felt complicit.

Why can't they be who they are? What are we afraid of? Why don't we want for others -- everyone -- what we so readily have for ourselves? (Fill in any subject!) When did that kind of selfishness become OK?

Can't tell you how glad I am to have met these two husbands. Not because of their labels, but just because of who they are.

I want you to marry the person you love.

I want you to get married wherever you want.

I want you surrounded by loving family and friends throughout your life.

I want your dreams to come true.

I want you to be happy -- now and always...

...without fighting, struggling, or being inconvenienced in any needless way just because you are who you are.

Love, Steve :-) xo

Overcoming LGBT Ignorance

I am amazed at the ignorance that I read and hear from the most surprising sources -- especially Christian friends who really oughta know better. Every day Twitter and Facebook are full to overflowing with exceptional examples. Actually, not just ignorance -- but arrogance, mannerlessness, and basic, home-grown stupidity -- not forgetting plenty of hate. BUT -- and I think this will surprise you! -- I'm relieved, even glad, when I hear or read these wretched things because there is nothing more toxic or more dangerous than hidden or whispered hate. When "it" comes out into the open, then we can do something about it.

But where can someone go to safely say ignorant things, think about them, regret them, change, grow, and move on? Or are we destined to keep people stuck in their ignorance?

I'm sure grateful that I have people in my life who help me. I have friends I can talk to. I have my local LGBT community center where people listen and help me understand. I have opportunities to interact with a huge variety of people -- helpfully, not hurtfully. I'm sincerely grateful for the people in my life who hold me to account for what I believe, as well as how I act on what I believe. The people who love me best also expect the most from me -- they believe in my highest and best self and expect me to live it out in every way! I want to...I really do! But not everyone has what I have, and I'm sorry about that.

Too often neither side of a topic of fury is the least bit interested in chit-chatting about their differences. Certainly not interested in quietly and respectfully listening to the offending party! They're not interested in unity and understanding. They're interested in being right, being heard, being smug. Completely unappealing; completely unhelpful, too. I want to be something different, something better; I want to accomplish something helpful.

I am so grateful for those miracle moments when quiet voices of reason break through -- when, somehow, the gentle, wise voices -- often quiet whispers -- become the focal point for right and good. When the hateful folks described in the first paragraph are left raw, knowing that the harmfulness of their ways has been laid bare for all to see and decry. Oh, if only we'd allow the haters to safely face themselves in the mirror! We have to believe that change is possible -- I do! Though it's hard sometimes...

Right will win. Right is winning. But does it have to happen so slowly? We are not -- as a country, or more broadly as the global family of humanity -- evolving far enough or fast enough for my liking! But we know that change that will last sometimes has to come slowly to be realized fully. Patience really isn't theoretical -- it's potently needed in the hard conversations. We can't let up. We can't give up. We can't slow up. We can't shut up. (But we can lower the tone and volume!) But if we want the world to be what it can and should be -- for everyone -- we have to be patient with people who don't know better -- yet -- for whatever reason. And we have to allow for space to be open, honest, ignorant -- if change is really our goal.

So, what am I gonna do about all this ranting of mine? What are you going to do in the midst of incendiary arguments? Let's go for it -- patience, kindness, grace -- these will win! Let's win together...Steve :-) xo