LGBT Inconvenience

I got married when I wanted, where I wanted, to the person I love. I never thought it would be a problem, and it wasn't! Because I'm a man, and I married a woman.

I recently met a fantastic couple who couldn't. Because they're both men. They didn't have what I had -- a room full of family and friends, local church, big party. Because they had to travel far from home to get married. Because they're both men.

I feel really selfish writing about this because -- truth be told -- I seldom really stop to think about what I have so easily compared with what others struggle so hard to get -- or, worse, never get. (Seems I need to exercise my heart and mind justice muscles a lot more!)

As I asked my new friends for the details of their meeting, falling in love, proposal, wedding, and life together, I could sense twinges of sadness in their happy story. None of it had come easily. And it wasn't just laws or lack of laws getting in the way; families still struggle sometimes to accept their sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. It's the greatest of human tragedies when family love fails.

I wanted to grab them both in a tight bear hug and whisper, "I'm so sorry..." because their love is real, their dedication to each other is real, their hopes and dreams are just like mine -- home, family, children, love, longevity, security, hope, and a safe area to live where their love wouldn't become an inconvenience or problem to others. (I've certainly never had to wonder if my wife and son and our life together would be a bother to anyone.) With sad regret on their behalf, my life dreams have come to reality much more easily than theirs.

Do we really want to continue so purposefully and needlessly creating sadness and hurt? Face-to-face with these two great guys, I felt complicit.

Why can't they be who they are? What are we afraid of? Why don't we want for others -- everyone -- what we so readily have for ourselves? (Fill in any subject!) When did that kind of selfishness become OK?

Can't tell you how glad I am to have met these two husbands. Not because of their labels, but just because of who they are.

I want you to marry the person you love.

I want you to get married wherever you want.

I want you surrounded by loving family and friends throughout your life.

I want your dreams to come true.

I want you to be happy -- now and always...

...without fighting, struggling, or being inconvenienced in any needless way just because you are who you are.

Love, Steve :-) xo