My LGBT epiphany

I was sucker punched by some bloggers the other day who had a bone to pick with my branch of "The Church." After the usual wave of hurt, ager, and sadness, I had an epiphany--as from a Christmas angel! "It's not about you and your feelings, Steve--stop and listen to them--there are lessons to be learned!" And as soon as I stopped and listened (well, re-read!), everything changed. And I sat back and took it all in...and have begun to learn some fresh and valuable lessons.

Instead of getting angry, shouting back, or rebuttal, it's time to thank those who decry the church--especially in terms of our relationship with the global LGBT community. After all, if we'd stop, listen, pray, and contemplate, I think we'd find out--they're not wrong! But then the hard part: eating humble pie and pledging to do better! Individually and corporately. I don't know what's so hard about saying with honesty and sincerity: "I'm sorry...SO sorry!"

But the answer I get too often is, "Why?! For what?!"

So let me fill you in...Why?! Because there's real hurt. Because there's real pain. Because there's real anger and sadness and isolation. Because the church HAS been the source of confusion and alienation and has engendered a sense of superiority rather than humility. Because LGBT people have been treated badly by the church; the church has acted in ways Jesus never would. The church has treated gay people as if they're a problem, a burden, a threat. And if I had to hear years of vitriol from pulpits and parishioners about who I am, I'd want to fight back in any way I could, too!

I believe prophetic voices are calling out to the church. And I don't think the church likes it. But we ignore the voices and messages at our peril. Could God possibly have it in mind to use unexpected voices to help the church be its best? Is it OK to ignore a message just because we don't like the messenger or the way the message is presented or what the message is?

The message is actually quite simple: "Listen, learn, and love! Oh...and be better than you have been!"

Dan Savage, one of the loudest and most listened-to voices on all things LGBT (I'm a huge fan of his "It Gets Better" campaign) rightly points out ungodly behavior. He and others know the difference, using Scripture and historical knowledge to speak against hypocrisy. He's not wrong. (Well, not entirely!) Or John Aravosis...or Michael Hulshof-Schmidt...or any number of other strong voices. They have things to teach us, if we'll choose to be teachable!

In this whole LGBT v. "The Church" business here's where I stand: I'm listening. I'm learning. I'm stinging. I'm trying. And, most of all, I'm sorry...truly sorry! And I wish desperately that church leaders and contrarian voices would get together in a room. And I only want one comment and one request to be made before the church leaders sit back and listen (a hard assignment for preachers!):

--Comment: We're sorry for the pain we've caused the LGBT community through the years.
--Request: What can we do to make things right?

I thank God for those men and women who take the time and trouble to point their fingers directly at the church (directly at me!), decry its wrongs, and call it to be what it's meant to be!

To those who've written and spoken hard truths that I'd rather not hear: Thank you! Sincerely...xo

Definition of Epiphany: "A moment in which you suddenly see or understand something in a new or very clear way." (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/epiphany)